‘SNL’ Tucker Carlson criticizes the Met Gala and slams the ‘Michael’ movie
What are we doing? Come on. Is this who we are now? On “Saturday Night Live,” player Jeremy Culhane once again appeared on “Weekend Update” with his spot-on impression of right-wing talker Tucker Carlson — and this time his target was last weekend’s Met Gala.
“An evening of fashion and fun. Really. Come on, everyone, let’s all jump around in our $100,000 clown outfits and watch the American empire crumble. What are we doing? Come on,” Culhane-as-Carlson said in opening the segment.
When Weekend Update host Colin Jost noted that Carlson clearly didn’t enjoy the event, ‘Tucker’ sarcastically replied, “Oh no, I loved it. Because when I go to a museum, I don’t want to learn about history. No, I want to see The Rock in a skirt. Do you smell what The Rock is cooking? Because I do. It’s gender confusion. That’s the rule. That’s the goal now.”
He then took on Madonna: “She named herself after the Virgin Mary. And you want to know what my favorite thing about the mother of Jesus Christ is? The big pirate ship on her head. And I’m supposed to be attracted to this?”
No, said Jost, you don’t do that. Was there anything you liked? What about Heidi Klum’s outfit?
“Oh yeah, the left finally got what they wanted. They put the Statue of Liberty in a burqa,” he said. “What now? Is the Chrysler Building going to be the anti-Christian building? What are we going to do? Is this the New York we want to live in, Colin?”
Jost noted that Carlson actually lives in Maine. And then “Tucker” took on the silent “e” in Maine.
“I’m glad you brought that up. Colin, what does the E stand for anyway? Oh, I know: ‘Euphoria.’ And no, I’m not talking about the feeling I get when I press the English button.” Cue Tucker’s maniacal laugh.
Then came Carlson’s take on Jafar Jackson, star of the new “Michael” movie. Carlson had a problem with the film, but of course not because of the controversy surrounding the King of Pop’s behavior and alleged crimes.
“Oh yeah, right. Some people were upset about the movie,” Jost noted.
Carlson said, “And it should be. The movie ends in 1988, so they clearly avoided something serious that needs to be acknowledged. The part of Michael Jackson’s life that no one wants to talk about anymore. The part when he was a white man. Sorry, kids, Michael Jackson can’t live a nice white life anymore. Who does that remind me of? Oh, that’s right, all of us. ‘Shamona,’ yes. More like ‘shame on you.’
After a brief commercial break from Carlson (“Round bananas. Want to eat a banana without looking gay? Try round bananas!”), he left his most offensive, hot version for the end.
“Now let’s talk about A$AP Rocky’s outfit. He was on the red carpet wearing my least favorite color: African American.”
What are we doing?
