The craziest jokes from Colin Jost and Michael Che
Colin Jost and Michael Che gasped during the season finale of “Saturday Night Live,” treating the audience to their biannual joke swap.
Traditionally, the anchors of the “Weekend Update” wrote jokes that the other could read live on air – without having seen them beforehand.
For example, Jost kicked things off with a joke written by Che: “Mattel introduced a new Barbie who has autism. Ugh, now it’s going to feel wrong when I have sex with it.”
Then Che read this joke, written by Jost: “A new study shows that the average length of an erect penis in the country is 7 inches. Oh boy. That means I’m just 6 inches below average.”
Jost then recited, “Michael B. Jordan won Best Actor for his role in the vampire film ‘Sinners.’ A black vampire is just like a white vampire, except the only thing it drains is the welfare state.”
As he read the playing cards, he continued, “That was just a joke. I am not a racist. And to prove it, I, Colin Jost, hereby pledge this season’s salary to Dr. Umar’s School for Black Boys. You may not know who that is, but the brothers back home are nodding their heads. And if that isn’t enough, I have a beautiful new ferry ready to give every black person a free one-way ticket back to the motherland.”
Che then had to tell a joke about how men are less likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction if they drink grape juice. As a photo of a kid with a juice box flashed on the screen, the comedian said it “explains why my boyfriend is always tough.”
Anticipating that the next joke was about Michael Jackson, Che told Jost, “You’re a terrible person.”
He continued, “Speaking of giving juice to little boys, the movie ‘Michael’ won the box office again this weekend, and since a few members of the Jackson family are actually in the audience tonight, I wanted to take a moment to tell everyone what I really think: Michael Jackson did nothing wrong! He was right to molest all those kids! And they were lucky. I would have paid him for it. And I did. That’s right, when I was 10 years old, Michael Jackson molested me. And the all it gave me was a fetish for middle-aged white women.”
Back to Jost: “Ye released a new album called ‘Bully.’ So please try to separate the art from the artist and remember that you can make terrible music and still be right about Hitler.”
Jost upped the ante and then recited, “That joke is offensive to everyone, and I apologize. I would like to sacrifice the most important thing in my life: my beautiful, award-winning, world-famous… hair. That’s right, I’m shaving. Send for the barber.”
Jost smiled awkwardly as a man rushed behind the “Weekend Update” desk and threw a barber’s cape over him. As the man pulled out the clippers and brought them close to Jost’s head, the comedian said, “Jerome, make me unattractive.”
But before the stylist could remove a single hair from Jost, Che intervened: “No, no, no! Are you really going to do it? Man. You’re the greatest comedian of all time.”
The joke exchange became a tradition in 2018 and has become increasingly crazy over the years. In 2023, Che hired a fake “civil rights activist” to sit next to Jost and shake her head disapprovingly at every racist joke. And in 2024, Che forced Jost to tell vulgar jokes about his wife, Scarlett Johansson, while she watched a live feed backstage.
Will Ferrell hosted the season 51 finale with musical guest Paul McCartney.
Watch the full joke exchange below.
