Hayden Panettiere’s book ‘This Is Me: A Reckoning’: the biggest bomb

The new book, which hit shelves on May 19, offers a raw look at the highs and lows of her life and career, including the traumatic birth of her daughter.

The Scream actress welcomed her child, Kaya Evdokia Klitschko, with ex-fiance, boxer Wladimir Klitschko, on December 9, 2014. In the memoir, she writes about the traumatic childbirth experience that later turned into alcoholism.

“I worked with Kaya for 14 hours and was in surgery for three hours after she was born,” she wrote, according to an excerpt shared by The cut. “My blood didn’t clot during my C-section, so the doctors had to close the blood vessels in my uterus to prevent me from bleeding. I had seven transfusions and had a fever the entire time. My uterus had become infected and the antibiotics I was given during labor weren’t strong enough to lower my temperature.”

Panettiere remembers waking up in the recovery room feeling “exhausted, disoriented and racked with pain.”

After Kaya’s birth, she said she struggled to feel an immediate connection with her daughter, who reportedly “seemed like someone else’s baby.”

“I had always heard that mothers feel an instant wave of love the moment they see their baby, but I felt nothing,” she adds. “Kaya was just there, and now I had to figure out how to connect with her. It felt like an insurmountable task, and I was only there on the first day.”