Ashley Iaconetti talks Real Housewives single Taylor Frankie Paul

Ever since “The Bachelor” alum Ashley Iaconetti was announced as one of the seven women anchoring Bravo’s “The Real Housewives of Rhode Island,” fans of the long-running ABC franchise — which has featured the reality star at least four times — have been eager to see what she’s up to next.

Iaconetti is somewhat of an icon within Bachelor Nation. Thanks to her intense emotions, her performances in the franchise’s multiple spin-offs have provided viewers with gloriously entertaining confessionals and countless tear-filled outbursts. After making her “The Bachelor” debut in 2015 as one of the 30 women vying for Chris Soules’ heart in season 19, she went on to appear in seasons 2 and 3 of “Bachelor in Paradise,” followed by an appearance in the inaugural “Bachelor Winter Games.”

Iaconetti met her current husband, Jared Haibon, on “Bachelor in Paradise,” and the two tied the knot in 2019. In the years since, they’ve welcomed two sons and settled into their off-screen — though still massively online — life as a family of four in Haibon’s home state of Rhode Island.

And while her romantic life may finally be stable, Iaconetti finds herself back in the drama among a “Real Housewives of Rhode Island” cast of fiery women who aren’t afraid to raise their voices and point fingers in each other’s faces — most of whom she had never met prior to filming (in Episode 1, Iaconetti is introduced to the crew through her friend Rosie DiMarie at a beachside picnic).

“I’ve never seen people interact with each other the way I experienced this summer,” Iaconetti said Variety. “I couldn’t believe my eyes so many times when I was in these situations, and I can only imagine that I represent the audience watching at home.”

Below, Variety spoke with Iaconetti about her decision to return to reality TV (as seen during Thursday’s premiere of “Real Housewives of Rhode Island”), the differences between the two franchises and her thoughts on “The Bachelorette” and the now-paused Taylor Frankie Paul season.

Before we get into “Real Housewives,” what made you want to return to reality TV?

I’ve always liked doing it. It’s always been so much fun for me. The opportunity to do “The Bachelor” gave me my whole life, my family, my career and I am forever grateful for that. I was always open to doing more of it if the opportunity arose, and it did. And it’s a whole different world, I can tell you that.

So it didn’t take any convincing?

Oh, that’s right, because this franchise is so much different than “The Bachelor.” It’s a little more mixed with your real life. It is filmed in your own home, with your family. It becomes more integrated into your life. And so that was something that Jared and I discussed. Honestly, we thought about the decision for over a month because we were in such a happy, wonderful place. And we say, “Do we jump into this again?” We know how earth-shattering it can be, so a lot of thought went into it. I’d rather say ‘yes’ to something and then think about how long you want to be a part of it, then say ‘no’ and never experience what could be.

Did it take some time to get used to being in front of the camera again?

I probably felt more at home than the rest of the cast. It didn’t feel as invasive as I thought it would be. I had always made preparations for the kids and family to be on camera, and they weren’t in my house much. To be honest, it was the drama that affected me more. On “The Bachelor,” the girls get along pretty well for the most part. And here that is not the case.

Were you a fan of “Housewives” before you were cast?

To be honest, I watched most of ‘Housewives’ with my mother. She has always loved the OG New York Housewives. She watched all their seasons. Hilariously, I don’t watch many reality shows in general. Besides “The Bachelor,” I would pretty much only watch “The Kardashians.” It’s one of those things that when you’re so close to it, you don’t necessarily look at it.

Two episodes later, the women are already not getting along, but you’re not really in the drama mix because you just met them. What was it like coming in and realizing that some of these women have years of history with each other?

Absolutely intimidating. I’m definitely an extroverted introvert, and that came out a lot here. In many of these situations I felt quite uncomfortable. So all I could do was sit back and watch everything unfold. I felt like if I ever got into it, it would honestly be inappropriate because these girls didn’t really know me and I didn’t know them.

Had you heard anything about the women before filming started? Was there anything you knew was in there?

To be completely honest, I’ve started [hearing] about the other women when it became clear that I was part of the cast. So once the cast was in place, and even before that, when there were rumors about who was going to be cast, my group of friends here said to me, “We’re seeing so-and-so at the country club, and this is her reputation.” And like, “Oh, that girl, she knows their family, and she’s like that.” So from my group here I heard a lot of things about these ladies, which is just proof that it really is one degree of separation.

What were your first impressions of the women?

I was afraid to meet Jo-Ellen [Tiberi]. To be honest, I had heard most of the rumors about Jo-Ellen and her reputation. She’s kind of a gossip queen, and that’s why I was scared to meet her, and because she and Rosie were going to be rolling beef in the cameras, and I was obviously friends with Rosie. But Jo-Ellen turned out to be very friendly and much more approachable than I ever imagined. Alicia [Carmody] had a bigger personality than I imagined. Liz [McGraw] was just as intimidating as I thought she would be, but then after hanging out a few times I learned that she can be really sweet.

In Episode 2, you and Jo-Ellen get together with your kids, and you really open up about your marriage and motherhood. How much did you want to talk about your personal life on the show?

[Jared and I] I don’t really have much to hide. We’re pretty open, and I think that became a weird thing. It’s kind of becoming a thing where I’m just open about everything that I would be open about, but I don’t really have a skeleton in the closet. So you guys are acting like I’m not open because I’m not talking about skeletons. But the thing is, you won’t find anything in there! The grossest thing about us was how we met, back in the ‘Bachelor’ days. We haven’t been this dramatic since.

We are in a very stable part of our relationship. But do we always have to deal with having two small children, and does that sometimes put pressure on things? Yes, especially when we were filming. My now 20 month old son was insane for the first year of his life, and over the past two months he has really lightened up. But if it seems like motherhood is stressing me out during filming, it’s because I literally had a child who couldn’t go 15 minutes without having a nervous breakdown. And now he’s a delight.

What can you tease about the rest of the season?

Some girls who you see don’t get along at first will eventually get along, and vice versa. They always say that “Bachelor” season is the most dramatic season ever, and none of it compares to what I experienced this past summer.

Even your “Bachelor in Paradise” seasons?

I have never seen people interact with each other in the way I experienced this summer. So many times I couldn’t believe my eyes when I was in these situations and I can only imagine that I represent the audience watching at home.

In what ways do you communicate?

Seeing women shouting at each other, pointing fingers in their faces…I just couldn’t believe the level some voices can get to during an argument! I don’t know if these arguments are more exaggerated than the average “housewives” arguments, but your eyes will bulge a lot when you watch this. Like, “Oh my God. I can’t believe she said that.”

Do you think that because people knew you had been on reality TV, they expected you to take something from that?

I’m so convinced that people from Bachelor Nation will be disappointed in me because I actually didn’t deliver the drama. I’ve always just been dramatic about love. For example, I would only be mad at a girl if she chased my husband. I thought, “Sorry, am I that boring?” I’m witnessing all this drama and some of it is funny. Apparently I’m very stable when I’m married.

We need to talk about the tears because they have become your signature thing since your “bachelor” days.

I’m not one to raise my voice. In my classic moment of drama in the Badlands on my two-on-one, I don’t raise my voice. I remain strangely monotonous at that moment. And that’s what I’m doing here. For example, if someone comes up to me, I try to explain myself through tears. There are a lot… And sometimes I cry when I talk about myself. When I talk about my family or things that are important to me, I just cry. It’ll be interesting to see how a Bravo audience views me because they’ll be like, “Why is this girl who doesn’t get into fights on this show?”

As a major voice in Bachelor Nation, what do you think of Taylor Frankie Paul’s interrupted ‘Bachelorette’ season?

I recorded an hour-long podcast about this today, and it’s so nuanced. Overall, it’s a good thing they didn’t continue the season. That was a decision that should have been made more carefully earlier.

Based on many of the interviews she gave, we knew in detail what exactly happened in the video and what led to the arrest. You guys had her on a TV show for four seasons… It’s an absolutely horrible, horrible video, and the kid that’s there is just horrible… It probably shouldn’t have been decided for her to be “The Bachelorette.” That wasn’t the right role for her to fill, and for many reasons it was probably not something she was mentally and emotionally ready for – the fact that she was so intertwined with Dakota being one of them. So many things to say.

This interview has been edited and condensed.