Sarah Sherman’s Animal Novels Colin Jost

In a “Weekend Update” with jokes about Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein, a sunburned vacationer played by cast member Ben Marshall and how Netflix will jack up its prices to $50 million to keep Warner Bros. Sarah Sherman stole the show playing the drunken raccoon who (actually!) wasted in a liquor store in Virigina this week, and passed out in the bathroom.

“Here to explain their actions is that drunk raccoon,” said Colin Jost.

Wrapping around the Update desk, the raccoon approached Jost and complained about not having any privacy because Jost said she has a “serious drinking problem.” She countered that the “problem is that I can’t get drunk in a bathroom without people taking pictures of me with my face down and my ass up!”

When Jost asked her if Bradley Cooper’s portrayal of Rocket Raccoon in Marvel’s “Guardians of the Galaxy” films is considered a positive portrayal of raccoons, she said, “I wouldn’t know, I haven’t seen it — I’m not a virgin.”

After saying she was hungry and asking DoorDash something, she said, “You know what’s actually good that you wouldn’t think is good? Poop!” When Jost seemed irritated, she said, “Quiet, piggy.”

Jost then told her he thought raccoons only ate trash, and she said, “We hear what you call us. Trash pandas. Trash dogs. The Sarah Shermans of the forest.” To which Jost replied, “You’re not nearly as hairy as Sarah Sherman.”

Jost said she hoped she got the help she needed for her drinking problem, and that he hoped she didn’t give him rabies. “Rabies is the last thing you need to worry about if you get it from me,” the raccoon told Jost.