Stephen Colbert on Matt Gaetz and Tulsi Gabbard as Trump’s cabinet picks

Stephen Colbert spent most of his opening monologue on Wednesday night’s “Late Show” talking about President-elect Donald Trump’s Cabinet picks so far, including Rep. Matt Gaetz of Florida as attorney general and Tulsi Gabbard as director of the national intelligence service.

“We saw it all almost eight years ago [Trump] stroll down the steps of the Capitol, put his hand on a Bible, lie to the Chief Justice about defending the Constitution, and then deliver a pinpoint speech about the coming American carnage. And I said very sincerely, “Hey! Let’s not step over our skis here. Let’s take this day by day. Maybe, maybe against all logic and previous experience, this time it will be different,” Colbert said at the beginning of his monologue. ‘I was right. Because it’s already much worse.”

Colbert pointed out that Trump had announced this earlier Wednesday Truth Social that he nominate Gaetz as US Attorney General. “During the campaign, I thought that if Trump won, he would do the worst things I could imagine. It turns out I don’t have much imagination,” the “Late Show” host said. “There’s not enough Botox in the world to hide how shocked I am. There’s also not enough Botox in the world because Matt Gaetz has used it all. This is just a little ‘amuse-shower’ of what a horrifying idea this is.”

He continued: “Matt Gaetz, nominee for the nation’s top law enforcement agency, is currently under investigation by a House Ethics panel that has issued a subpoena for him in a sex and drug investigation. Which really makes you wonder: did he bring enough drugs to share? Because I can really use them now.”

Colbert then told his audience that things are “getting even more terrible,” noting that Trump has selected former Rep. Tulsi Gabbard as his nominee for Director of National Intelligence.

“Trump gave MAGA minion and Cruella the Village Idiot, Tulsi Gabbard, another extremely important job,” Colbert said, adding that he interviewed Gabbard during the 2020 presidential campaign and when he thinks of her, “the word is ‘intelligence ‘ not the first word. one that comes to mind – or the second.”

Colbert said Gaetz and Gabbard’s nominations for Trump’s Cabinet were “not the outrageous, heady story I thought I would be leading my monologue in tonight.” He then brought up Trump and nominated Fox News host Pete Hegseth as defense secretary. “Hegseth has two qualifications for Trump,” Colbert said. “He’s on TV and he’s a weird guy.”

Colbert described Trump’s list of nominees as the “Star Wars” Cantina of a cabinet of the president-elect.

Near the end of his monologue, the late-night host mentioned Senate Republicans’ decision to elect South Dakota Sen. John Thune as their majority leader.

“I tell you this, why? This is why you care,” Colbert said. “All those nominations I mentioned earlier, straight from the mouth of madness? Normally, they must go through a Senate confirmation process, during which both sides of the aisle can ask salient questions, present evidence and call testimony. And the nominees have to defend themselves and explain why getting that job would be good for America. But Trump has demanded, and Thune has supported this, to adjourn the Senate so none of that happens, and Trump just says, “Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo, here’s the job without any review.”