Michelle Obama shares how she and Barack kept the romance alive in the White House — and lifted the lid on their date nights at home

Former first lady Michelle Obama has shared intimate new details about how she and her husband, the former president, interacted Barack Obamakept the spark in their marriage during their time in the White House – while opening up about how their relationship has evolved since his second term ended.

Michelle, 61, lived at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. for eight years while Barack, 64, served as president from 2009 to 2017 and raised her two daughters. Malia And Sashain the historic building.

Her role as first lady thrust her into the spotlight, while her marriage also came under intense scrutiny, an scrutiny that continued long after their time in the White House ended.

Speculation has been rife for months that the couple’s marriage is in trouble and that they are headed for divorce, rumors they have repeatedly denied.

Now, Michelle has once again shed some light on the intricacies of their relationship, detailing how leaving the White House has changed the way she and Barack enjoy routine “date nights.”

“We were married at 32, 33 [years] …I always forget. Sorry, honey,” she told People while promoting her new fashion-focused book “The Look.” “If we’re both happy with a date night, we’re home. We don’t get dressed. We just have a nice dinner, candles on, music, we talk.”

Since they both spend most of their time at home — a beautiful property in DC’s affluent Kalorama Heights neighborhood that they bought for $8.1 million in 2017 — Michelle joked that they’ll go to any lengths to make those date nights extra special.

“We don’t talk all day because we’re in the house together all day, right? We work from home. So if we’re going to have a really special night, it’s like, ‘Don’t talk to me. Save it for dinner,'” she revealed.

“He’ll say, ‘Have you talked to the girls?’ “I did, but we’re not going to talk about it until date night.” But sometimes we go out to dinner in DC or wherever. I’m too old, I can’t eat and watch a movie. I fall asleep in the movie. So it’s like, ‘Let’s pick one.'”

The intimate date nights at home are in stark contrast to the romantic getaways the duo enjoyed within the confines of the White House, where they tried to turn every state dinner or gala event into their own special evening.

“Before those black tie events, it was just like our wedding every time. You felt the beauty of the ball,” she said, noting that she gradually became more confident during her husband’s presidency — and that she tried to reflect that in the outfits she wore.

“Every year I got a little riskier; my team and I tried different things. And you get all excited for your man. There was an unspoken ritual, he never knew until I walked out, ready, what I was wearing.

“That’s the romance, those little moments in this crazy world, when we could look at each other and say, ‘You’re cute.’ Then we walk downstairs to a barrage of press and lights and cameras, and it’s like, ‘Just stay in this moment. It’s really just us. This is fun. ”

Although it’s been almost a decade since Barack and Michelle left the White House, the lights and cameras have largely remained on the couple, even as the former first lady has tried to live a much more private life.

She has all but withdrawn from DC’s political circle in recent years — a move that fueled even more speculation that she and Barack were headed for divorce.

Michelle skipped two major events in early 2025: President Donald Trump‘s inauguration, followed by the former president Jimmy Carter‘s funeral.

At the time of Carter’s funeral, which took place on January 9 in Washington, DC, the mother of two’s advisors confirmed that she could not attend because she was on vacation in Hawaii and had a “scheduling conflict,” according to CNN.

As for Trump’s inauguration, a spokesperson for the Obamas simply stated that while Barack was “confirmed to attend,” his wife would not be attending.

Amid rampant speculation about the reasons for her absence, Michelle later revealed that she had simply chosen to opt out of events that didn’t feel “right” for her.

“People couldn’t believe I said no for any other reason; they had to assume my marriage was falling apart,” she said during an April episode of her podcast, “IMO With Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson.”

“It took everything in my power not to do what was considered right, but to do what was right for me; that was hard for me to do.”

She admitted that she felt incredibly conflicted about skipping the inauguration, and joked that she had to convince herself that she had nothing to wear so that she would stick to her decision not to attend.

“It started with me not having anything to wear,” she recalls. “I was like, if I’m not going to do this, I have to tell my team, I don’t even want to have a dress ready, right? Because it’s so easy to just say, let me do the right thing.”

Michelle added that she hopes her determination to say “no” to more things will help her daughters (and other women) do the same, eliminating the guilt that so often comes with turning down invitations or offers you feel obligated to accept.

“I want our daughters, I want the young women out there… I want my girls to start practicing different strategies for saying no,” she explained.

“After everything I’ve done in this world, if I still show them that I have to stick to it. … I still have to show people that I love my country, that I do the right thing, that I am always aware, always going high, even despite a lot of hypocrisy and contradiction, all I do is keep high the crazy bar that our mothers and grandmothers set for us.”

Luckily for Michelle, she and Barack have several homes where they can hide from the spotlight if they want.

In addition to their nine-bedroom, 8.5-bathroom main residence in Kalorama Heights, the couple also owns a beautiful home in Chicago — where Michelle is from — and a vacation home on Martha’s Vineyard, which they purchased in 2019 for $11.75 million.

The seven-bedroom, 8.5-bathroom stunner came complete with a private shoreline area and two guest wings, as well as a swimming pool, sundeck and marble bathtub.

However, if they want to venture further afield, they could head to Hawaii, where they reportedly own a picturesque waterfront home that is part of a trio of properties being developed by their close friend. Marty Nesbitt.

Nesbitt bought a prime waterfront plot of land for an eye-watering $8.1 million in 2015 and began building a luxury residential complex, one of which was reportedly earmarked for the Obamas.

Barack was photographed visiting the project in 2022, when construction was still underway. Images taken at the time showed that the structure was almost complete.