Heather Gay on Meredith Marks’ Plane Mystey and calling LDS a cult
“The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” is on the rise in its sixth season, with each episode topping the last – the series has become a must-watch live. The Bravo show has been on for years and is rarely seen on television. And that role likely crystallized (to mix metaphors) in the Season 4 finale, in which star Heather Gay exposed fellow cast member Monica Garcia as an internet troll who had harassed the women for years, with the “Receipts! Evidence! Timeline! Screenshots” ridding them both of Garcia, while also inducting “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” into the Bravo Hall of Fame.
BravoCon attendees have treated the women like royalty, and during Andy Cohen’s Nov. 13 taping of “Days of Our Wives” — which saw veteran cast members from each city gather on the Planet Hollywood stage — the cast of “Salt Lake City” got the biggest cheers from the audience. Gay, who is both a Bravo observer and a star on the channel, says, “It was incredible to feel that.”
Gay has written two best-selling books, 2023’s “Bad Mormon” and the following year’s “Good Time Girl,” in which she continues to publicly acknowledge that she was raised in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Her latest effort in that vein is Bravo’s three-part docuseries “Surviving Mormonism,” which premiered Nov. 11 on Bravo and Peacock. In it, Gay uses the Leah Remini template from “Scientology and the Aftermath” to expose the abusive, corrupt practices within the Mormon Church. She’s emotional while she’s doing it; it’s personal to her. And ultimately she gives voice to her realization that she grew up in a cult.
On a lighter note! In recent episodes, Gay and her castmates merged with the crew of ‘Below Deck: Down Under’ for a sailing trip that was out of this world in every way. But the trip culminated in a bizarre incident in episode 9 (“Unicorn Overboard”) when off-camera Meredith Marks had some sort of freakout on the flight home. What led to it is that Marks was angry, understandably, because Britani Bateman had accused Seth Marks of having a mistress (had she seen a TikTok?), and then claimed she was doing it for Mark’s own good. Good! That didn’t sit well with Marks, who reportedly started raging at Bateman at the airport and only stopped when they landed in Salt Lake City many hours later. Bateman was so upset – yes, destroyed – according to the entire cast except Marks, that she had to be carried off the plane. Where the cameras were and why no one took out their phones (as far as we know) is a mystery for the ages.
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Below, from the press room at BravoCon, Gay answers that question, delves into “Surviving Mormonism” and how difficult it was for her to call LDS a cult — and talks about why her new career in fiction writing is a natural extension for her, because as a Mormon you “live in fiction.”
I have to start with the most recent episode of “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.” I need to know everything. This is our Water Gate.
Yes, absolutely. I understand.
We have to get to the bottom of it! What, in your words, happened?
I mean, what happened was everything I said in confessionals and on the show. And you’ll see the aftermath of all that happen. But nothing more or less happened than what we all reported.
Will this continue for the rest of the season?
It’s definitely been struggled with and worked out – not worked out! It certainly is treated with for the upcoming episodes. And I haven’t seen them, but I’ve been there, and I know what’s coming.
And why didn’t anyone film it? Or record?
I mean, none of us thought about doing it.
Even Britani, who recorded stuff for no reason last season?
I thought Britani might have done that. And maybe she did too!
Hey.
Maybe someone recorded it. We don’t know. There is still a lot to see.
Do you know, and you can’t say it?
I don’t know definitively. To be honest, I don’t know definitively.
You think someone recorded it!
I think it’s going to be a very interesting rest of the season.
Okay, okay. When I saw Meredith in that state, or I think I heard him, what was that like?
Well, I mean, she was upset. When I saw your friend upset, I had never seen her so upset. And it felt like it was concerning, and it felt intense and it was dramatic. And it was, you know… increased from what we’ve seen before.
And you think Lisa egged her on?
I think Lisa did what she said: she tried to support her friend, but you can’t support a friend when she’s harassing someone! You know what I mean? I understand, but it was a no-win situation for Lisa and it could have ended better.
Different topic! I loved “Surviving Mormonism.” How did it come about?
When I wrote Bad Mormon and saw the outpouring of support—and the resonance the book had, and the community that really loved the book and rallied around me—I just wanted to further that experience and reach more people. I was really inspired by Leah Remini and her articles on Scientology. I thought, I can use this pop culture platform in a way that’s really meaningful and important to me.
A lot of times reality television gets downplayed, you know? But the platform and reach are not. So it felt like an incredibly timely opportunity for me to use the platform in a way that would change lives and create space for people I love deeply who haven’t yet had the opportunity to share their stories or be heard.
At the end of the third episode you come to the conclusion that you grew up in a cult. Can you tell us how you got there?
I talk about how the word is so charged and so charged. And if it weren’t, I could easily say so, because yes, the things I did in the temple and as a Mormon confirmed to me that it is a cult. And I find that very difficult to say. And it’s something I still struggle with and work on and redefine every day.
And so me hate the word. I hate that it’s a lightning rod for defensiveness, and it feels so offensive. But the truth is, it’s just a word. And if the word applies to the situation by definition, we should be able to use that word.
Did you have any doubts about coming to that conclusion?
Yes. I still have doubts now.
Yes, I really see that when you talk about it.
It is still very dear to me. It’s also the culture I live in, and my history and my life and my story and my identity. I don’t want to diminish who I am and what I have become. But saying that feels like I am.
From the Our weekly coverage continues“The Real Housewives Salt Lake City” gets all the praise. I’m sure you noticed last night at the taping of Watch What Happens Live, with all the casts from all the cities, that you got more applause than any other show.
I mean, it was incredible to feel that – and they were chanting Mary’s name. It was incredible, yes.
Why do you think that is so?
I think because we are all that each other has, and we are in it together. And I think we have a lot of fun together. And we have a lot of natural conflict, and that creates magic.
Other shows have fallen apart because the cast fights so viciously that they ultimately can’t be in a room together. Really – and that’s the end of the show. How do you look someone in the face when they say – or that you have said to them – terrible things, and move on? Let’s get into the boat fight with Lisa Barlow….
We extend great grace to each other, and we grow and learn together. And no matter how corny that sounds, we go to the extreme. And I don’t want to get philosophical, but like many of us there are women who were never allowed to push something to the extreme. And so we can be in this space with each other. We make a lot of mistakes and go too far. But I think in doing so we give each other the grace to pull back, heal, and get better.
Where are you and Lisa now?
I consider Lisa a friend. Absolute. And that doesn’t mean we won’t have further hard conversations. We are not perfect friends. I’m not perfect, I’m also a bad friend!
I mean, she gets the villain edit this season.
If she wants things to be different, she can act differently. It’s pretty simple, you know? There is a lot of reach there. She can spin.
Speaking of the villain, Jen Shah will be released from prison at some point. Could she ever come back to the show?
I mean, Andy said he never wanted to see her again, so he kind of answered that for all of us.
Thank God! So as far as using your platform for good, what else is going on?
I currently have a four-novella book deal with Podium Entertainment and am going straight to audiobooks. It’s all fiction. It’s all about 30,000 words. And I love it. I currently have a romantic thriller with Simon & Schuster that I’m working on; I’m currently doing the NBC football sports thing. And I’m working on a scripted version of “Bad Mormon.”
Have you always written fiction?
No, but I was a Mormon and you live in fiction. You know? It’s like building your life around Harry Potter. And I really think that by fictionalizing it, I can break through a lot of these internal barriers that keep me from being the writer I want to be. Because I just don’t want to be vulgar, I don’t want to be rude, I don’t want to be too sexual, I don’t want to be too dirty. It will be an experiment.
But I love writing, and that’s what I want to do.
This interview has been edited and condensed.
