‘Heartstopper’ season 3 sex scene is tender and emotional

SPOILER ALERT: This column contains spoilers for season 3 of “Heartstopper,” now streaming on Netflix.

The first two seasons of “Heartstopper,” Netflix’s hit YA series, were about falling in love. In season 2 of ‘Heartstopper,’ viewers watched as the quiet and insecure Charlie Spring (Joe Locke) and his new boyfriend, the confident and protective Nick Nelson (Kit Connor), navigated their new relationship. In season 3, in episodes that revolve around mental well-being, sex and major life changes, creator Alice Oseman focuses – through adapting her own graphic novels – on the working relationships it takes, and what it means to thrive or fall as new feelings and expectations come to light.

Sex is a major theme in season 3. Charlie and Nick have sex for the first time, and their friends Elle (Yasmin Finney) and Tao (William Gao) also take their romance to the next level. However, Oseman doesn’t simply offer gratuitous scenes of teenagers allowing their hormones to get the best of them. What she presents are thoughtful conversations about insecurities, sexual well-being, privacy and the emotions of sexual intimacy.

Season 3 of ‘Heartstopper’ picks up three weeks after the season 2 finale. During the last month of summer vacation, Charlie, Nick and their friends go to the beach. Although he is completely in love with Nick, Charlie is clearly not doing well mentally. Throughout the first three episodes of the season, the audience watches as his mental health and eating disorder spiral further out of control. It isn’t until the end of Episode 3, “Talk,” that Nick convinces Charlie to talk to his parents, leading to a two-month separation for the couple while Charlie seeks inpatient treatment. A big aspect of healthy relationships is about safety and feeling comfortable enough to have a positive sex life. Long before their first sexual romp, Nick positions himself as a protector for Charlie. In turn, Charlie is the person who allows Nick to fully understand himself, giving him the assertiveness he needs to help his friend through a very challenging time.

While the first half of season 3 focuses on getting Charlie into a mentally healthy space, Elle and Tao explore the physical aspect of their relationship. Like Charlie and Nick, their bond is based on deep trust and friendship. Therefore, when things start to get hot and heavy and Elle becomes skittish, she and Tao talk candidly about her body dysmorphia as a trans woman. Together they move forward at a pace that suits both their comfort levels.

When the topic of teens and sex comes up, abstinence and protection are often top priorities. There’s a lot of talk about STDs and pregnancy prevention, and maybe a quick chat about consent. But ‘Heartstopper’ illustrates that safety also means open and honest communication, and the maturity to engage in challenging conversations with a partner. Furthermore, the series shows how important it is for emotions to be aligned with the physical being.

Moreover, although Charlie has friction with his mother, Jane (Georgina Rich), the adults in “Heartstopper” are mostly well-meaning and trustworthy. Nick confides in his aunt Diane (Hayley Atwell) about Charlie’s illness when things become too scary for him to navigate alone. In addition to mental well-being, transparent exchanges between young people and adults around sex are of great importance, even despite their awkwardness and discomfort. Because Charlie is initially focused on his health, sex doesn’t top the agenda until episode 6, “Body.” In the episode, Charlie speaks to his therapist, Geoff (Eddie Marsan), about his insecurities, including his skinny body and the scars of self-harm. This exchange and the framework Geoff provides for Charlie encourages him to bring his concerns to Nick.

In healthy relationships, the initial magic doesn’t wear off completely, but it does lie dormant, especially during the transitional years between adolescence and adulthood when there’s so much going on. Young love and teen sex are often seen as trivial, but it is anything but. Those feelings are genuine, and this crucial and transformative chapter in life can change perspectives forever. Depicting the fullness of sexual exploration (not just acts of penetration) but also talking, pleasure, sensuality, kissing, awkwardness and cuddling, ‘Hearstopper’ removes the reactionary taboos surrounding teen sex and instead presents how it should be : a pleasurable and exciting human experience.

Season 3 of ‘Heartstopper’ is now available to stream on Netflix.