Emily Ratajkowski about ‘Too much’ and parasocial relationships
Spoiler alert: This interview contains spoilers for ‘too much’.
Emily Ratajkowski has returned to acting after collecting the headlines in 2023 for firing her team and leaving the company. At the time, she regretted the feeling of making herself ‘digestible to powerful men in Hollywood’, so it is no surprise that her first new project is not only created by a woman, but by her friend: Lena Dunham.
“Too Much,” follows the new Netflix-Comedy series by Dunham, follows Jessica (Megan Stalter) in the months after her fell apart from her ex-boyfriend Zev (Michael Zegen). Ratajkowski plays Wendy, Zev’s new girlfriend, who is an influencer, and the constant stream of Instagram photos of ZEV and Wendy’s Happy Life Together makes Jessica crazy. She breaks drunk in their apartment in New York to confront them one evening, while Wendy Jessica says she seems crazy, she is surprisingly calm and generous during the meeting.
During the series, Jessica videos registers to Wendy that she uploads to a private Instagram account. It is intended as an outlet for her to cope with her, but one day she accidentally makes the account public and the videos becomes viral. Shortly thereafter, Wendy reaches to Jessica and asks to meet. Who discuss the videos, Wendy asks Jessica for details about the timeline of her disintegration with ZEV, and together they realize that ZEV lied against them both. They have a bond with the way ZEV treated them and wish each other well, where Wendy even offers Jessica Advies on her current relationship with Felix (Will Sharpe).
Ratajkowski spoke with Variety About playing ‘the other woman’.
You and Lena Dunham have been friends for a long time. What were your first thoughts when she told you about this role?
We have always had many conversations about women that you have connected in strange ways, but you don’t know them completely. And how, as we are older, we have always been pro-sister, but if you are younger, you don’t necessarily do that because you are intimidated or because it is a defense mechanism.
Do you relate to Jessica and Wendy that way? Do you have those ideas about other women, but others can also project on you?
I mean, I have been Jessica and I have been Wendy. I think that is probably true for most people. In the beginning, Lena had written her as a lawyer, and I had something like: “I want her to be a little more hateful.” She was such a smart, perfect, great person who placed social justice stuff online online. And I had something like that: “I really want this girl to be a more influenced, and I don’t think that leans in stereotypes, because we will get to know her in a better way, but I think the payout in the end can really be great.” It is a strange time in which we live. 30 years ago, if your ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend, you might meet her once, or see a photo once, but now you can have access to their daily inserts. And I think that can really fuck with your brain, because it is someone with whom you have a person with or history, and there is a connection, but they are behind a screen. So I think it was really cool as Lena explored.
Tell me more about wanting to make her hateful feeling. Was the goal of helping to validate Jessica’s feeling?
No, I just loved the idea that people say, “Oh, of course, an influencer.” There is just a lot of judgment for women who post a lot online or play in the attention economy. And I personally didn’t think her made her more hateful, but I could see why someone else would do that. Someone who was well -intended was like: “Let’s make her So smart. “I have something like that:” They is So smart. But that doesn’t mean she should be a lawyer, right? “And she is also in so many ways to Jessica.
Until that last episode we only see Wendy through the perspective of Jessica, who imagines that she and ZEV have a photo-perfect life together. But it is clear that Wendy’s relationship with ZEV had major problems. How do you imagine that time?
I [thought of Wendy] As a girl who lived with roommates and who had previously had serious relationships, but perhaps of a certain kind. She said, “Oh, this is the losing man. He is safe.” What happens to women in the twenties and your thirty. You try different tropics because you are yours: “Maybe this archetype! The sweet man! Or the nerdy man! They will be different! I will be safe for these things that I have experienced before. “My vision of Wendy was that she said:” He is such a nice Jewish boy who has a great taste in music and sees me for whom I am all the things I like to do. And we can talk about all the cool shit I want to talk about. He is fun. “And of course he turns out not to be the case at all.
And how do you think Wendy Jessica suggested? She certainly got to hear one story from Zev, but she also seems to have had her own perspective.
I’m sure she has stalked Jessica [online]. There are probably three girls whose life they regularly check in. And she has a crazy experience with Jess, which clearly validates what Zev probably told her. When she breaks down, I think she is of two spirits. She is like: “Okay, you’re rather crazy and I have heard all these crazy things about you. But also, you just crash and don’t handle it well.” She is more generous – although even Jess never falls into thinking throughout the thing [Wendy] is stupid. There is some appearance of respect. I think both characters have that. I always say, when a man tells you that all his ex-friends are crazy, that’s a red flag.
After Jessica broke the apartment in the apartment in the middle of the night and later these private videos that Jessica had taken over, why does Wendy still want to meet her? How is she comfortable with that?
With gas lit there is always a feeling. Wendy moved to this apartment and she was told a story that was not true, but there were drawing – the cupcake rosé, the facial wax, things that have not turned up. And it can really be a strange feeling if your biggest fears are validated. I imagine that Wendy is currently like: “Oh, wow. All things I didn’t want to believe, because I didn’t want to believe that my partner would lie to me, now I get to see them. And as terrible as that is for her relationship, she has a really great perspective on, what is:” Now I know the truth, and that is better than the life of this way. ”
How did it feel to make the meeting with Jessica? It has such a different tone than the rest of your performances in the season, which take place from the perspective of Jessica.
I thought it was absolutely great. It was the first scene I shot for the show, and it was my first time directed by a woman, and by my friend [Dunham]. Meg and I had just met, and although we had exchanged a few stories, it was a bit fresh. That felt really nice. I felt that it helped to inform the scene, the fact that it was the first day, and we had just as much fun to shoot. Meg is great at Improv. She just goes for it. So there were Takes who were very funny, but there were some who were tenderly, and it was just a pleasure.
After they talked about Zev, why do you think Wendy is doing her best to give Jess advice about her new relationship?
I think she is at a very reflective moment. Wendy is the type of girl to do a lot of therapy, and I imagine that they are something like that: “Okay, I will continue my life. I am open to love.” She is in a very wise place, what can happen – I think you can feel a Zen master while Crashing during a break. And she clearly saw Jess’s videos. She has had a real experience with breaking into her house, so she sets boundaries around her friendship and is like: “I am not trying to hang around with you all the time, but if you ask me, here are some ways in which I live my life.”
If “too much” is being renewed, do you see a world where you would return to this world? Do you see a future in which Wendy and Jessica keep crossing paths?
I certainly do it. And Lena and I had nice little convos about what that would look like. I mean, who knows? But I thought it was absolutely great to play her. The world felt so clear to me. I know [Wendy] Well – I feel that I could come across her on the street in Brooklyn. So it would be very nice to return to her.
In the past you have spoken about the fact that you feel in Hollywood and cast based on your appearance instead of your substance. Here you can undermine that, where Wendy is depicted as just another hot girl on the internet until we get deeper and see who she really is. Have you had the feeling that you have worked those hard moments in your career through this role?
Lena was the first person to publish my writing, on a Lenny letter, but she knew about me from Instagram. I have had many experiences, with Lena specifically, where she has seen things from the surface level and has given me so many opportunities. When I shot [“Too Much”]I was about to turn 33. I am an adult woman, with a child, and it just felt very natural and good to do the kind of roles and to work with the kind of people who do with women and respect. So I didn’t really work, but it felt really nice.
This interview has been edited and condensed.
