Dave Chappelle’s ‘SNL’ monologue: Wishes Trump the best of luck
Dave Chappelle took the stage in Studio 8H for the first episode of ‘Saturday Night Live’ of the new year, marking his fourth time hosting the show.
He walked on stage dressed in a suit, smoked a cigarette and said, ‘Boy, let me tell you something. I’m very honest. I’m in quite a bit of trouble tonight. And it started in October. Lorne Michaels called me.”
Chappelle talked about how he asked him to host the show. “The first episode after the election,” Chappelle remembers. “And I was like, no, I’m cool.” He describes how he then asked Michaels, “Save the date closest to January 6th. You know what? I can just leave all those old Trump jokes out. I will do it!” The comedian paused for a moment and said, “The moment I said yes, LA burst into flames!”
Chappelle, who is known for his controversial jokes, including ones about transgender people, said: “I’m tired of being controversial. I’m trying to turn over a new leaf. It is far too early to joke about such a catastrophe. This one is close to home.”
Chappelle rattled off the names of actors he had worked with, like Dennis Quaid, who have been affected by the ongoing fires in LA. “It broke my heart,” Chappelle said. He noted all the negative comments online about celebrities losing their homes. ‘Do you see that there? That’s why I hate poor people,” Chappelle said, laughing. “Because they can’t see past their own pain.”
“The other day they said on the news that these fires were the most expensive tragedy that has ever occurred in the history of the United States. I think it’s because people in LA have nice things. For about six to seven dollars I could burn 100,000 acres in Mississippi,” Chappelle said. He also speculated about the various conspiracy theories surrounding the cause of the fires. “If you were a rational thinking person, you should at least consider the possibility that God hates these people,” Chappelle joked.
Chappelle sat on a stool smoking and continued, “Many poor people were also affected. Many of these people discovered in the week of the fires that they had lost their fire insurance. Luigi says, ‘You’re welcome.'” Addressing Luigi Mangione, he said, “That boy almost planned the perfect crime. The only thing he forgot was to shave his eyebrows.”
Chappelle, who lives in Ohio, spoke last year about Donald Trump’s comments about Haitians in Springfield, Ohio. “Trump is a wild guy. He said that Haitians in Springfield, Ohio, ate people’s dogs and cats. I live a town away from Springfield. That’s not what happened in Springfield at all. Chappelle talks about how he wanted to lend his support after those comments. “Every day I would drive to Springfield and have lunch at the Haitian restaurant.” He paused, “And to be honest, I don’t know what that meat was. But whatever it was, it fell right off the bone.”
“It’s no fun being famous anymore,” said the comedian, who compared being famous to storming the beaches of Normandy and losing comrades in battle. He talked about “Puffy” and the accusations surrounding Diddy. “A lot of my friends ask me, they say, Dave, did you know anything about those Freak Off parties [Diddy hosted]?” Chappelle grinned.
He later said he wasn’t invited to the parties because, “Oh my god, I’m ugly!” That’s a hard way to find out.” He continued, “Can you imagine if you were me reading the paper, you discovered that everyone in Hollywood was having an orgy behind your back?”
Noting Donald Trump’s inauguration on Monday, Chapelle said: “The point is: Donald Trump is coming back on Monday. It will be the 47e president. All flags at half mast because Jimmy Carter died. Chappelle then told a story about seeing a photo of Carter in Palestine as people cheered the former president, saying, “The photo brought tears to my eyes.”
Chappelle said while he wasn’t sure Carter was a good president, “He was a good man.” It made me proud to see that.”
Concluding the unusually long monologue, Chappelle said, “The presidency is no place for little people. Donald Trump, I know you’re watching the show, man, remember whether people voted for you or not, they’re all counting on you.
He wished Trump luck and said: ‘The whole world is counting on you. Do better next time.” With an emotional punch, Chappelle concluded, “Do not forget your humanity for displaced people, whether they are in the Palisades or Palestine.”
Watch his monologue below:
