James van der Beek reflects on death in the midst of cancer fights

James van der Beek has thought about how difficult last year has been after he was diagnosed with 3 colorectal cancer
The actor, 48, shared how his health struggle ensured that he questioned his value and place and described how his cancer influenced his wife and family Via a recent Instagram video.
(Van der Beek is married to his wife Kimberley Since 2010 and the few six children: Olivia, 14, Joshua, 13, Annabel, 11, Emilia, 8, Gwendolyn, 6, Jeremiah, 2.)
“It has been the most difficult year of my life and I wanted to share something that I learned with you,” Van der Beek started posting in the video to mark his 48th birthday. “When I was younger, I defined myself as an actor who was never really fulfilling. And then I became a husband and that was much better. And then I became father and that was the ultimate. ‘
Van der Beek explained that defending himself as a “loving, capable, strong, supporting husband, father, provider, steward of the country” was important to him. According to Van der Beek, his cancer threw away that solid definition that he held so expensive.
“And then I had to look at my own mortality this year. I came to nose with death, “he said. “All those definitions that I gave so deeply were stripped of me. I was gone for treatment, so I could no longer be a husband who was helpful for my wife. I could no longer be a father who could pick up his children and put them to bed and be there for them.
He continued: “I couldn’t be a provider because I didn’t work. I could not even be a steward of the country, because I was sometimes too weak to prune all the trees during the window that you should be supposed to prune. “
Van der Beek further explained that he had difficulty struggling with coming up with an answer to the question: “Who am I?”
“So I was confronted with the question that if I was just here to be a line, weak guy, only in an apartment with cancer, what am I?” the Dawson’s Creek Aluin reflected.
In the end Van der Beek came to the conclusion that he was still worth self -love, despite his living conditions.
“I meditated and the answer came through. I am worth God’s love, simply because I exist. And if I am worthy of God’s love, shouldn’t I be worth it myself? He said.
Van der Beek revealed his diagnosis of cancer in November 2024 for the first time.
“I have dealt privately with this diagnosis and have taken steps to solve this, with the support of my incredible family,” he explained at the time. “There is reason for optimism, and I feel good.”