Brooke Shields feels ‘more confident’ than ever before as she turns 60

Brooke Shields spent much of her life happily. As a preteen, she smiled graciously when reporters asked if she felt oversexualized and exploited in films like 1978. Beautiful baby and her instantly iconic Calvin Klein ads two years later. She was the dutiful daughter of her mother and manager, Teriwhose alcoholism made their close bond indescribably complex. She smiled for the cameras as they followed her to Princeton University in 1985 and asked (as if it were their business) if she was a virgin. Young Brooke Shields was a master at standing out and being sweet.

As she grew up, she continued to shine, but used her voice more provocatively – most memorably in a 2005 film New York Times opinion piece response to Tom Cross‘s attack on her use of antidepressants during postpartum depression after the birth of her first daughter, Rowan. She showed off her comedy chops in four seasons of her NBC sitcom, Suddenly Susanand multiple Broadway shows. She published two New York Times best-selling memoir.

Then she dared to do something (seemingly) unexpected: she grew older. Although her confidence and joy grew as she grew older – she turns 60 this spring – she writes in her new book: Brooke Shields isn’t allowed to grow old: Thoughts on growing older as a woman (on sale Tuesday, January 14): “I began to notice that external perceptions didn’t seem to match my internal sense of self. My industry no longer welcomed me with the same enthusiasm I was used to. The atmosphere from casting agents and producers, but also from my fans, was more: you have to stop time… and maybe even reverse it.”

To borrow a phrase from her book: f- that. Frustrated at being “overlooked right when I was feeling in my prime,” as she writes, she added a new member to her resume in 2024: founder and CEO of Commence, an online community and hair care brand designed for women over 40.

“The more I am expected to be invisible, make no demands, or fade away so that I can be frozen in time as a specific (read: younger) version of Brooke Shields,” she writes, “the more fully I intend to stand tall and take up space as the woman I am today. The star once known as America’s sweetheart talks to Us about stepping into her power.

The book opens with you and your daughters, Rowan, now 21, and Grier, 18, walking down the street and you realize people are staring at them, not you. Narrate Us about that.

The conflicts we feel affect you all at once. There’s so much protection, so much pride and joy, and then it’s a reflection on what you technically are no longer. And I’m not saying there’s envy or jealousy, but it’s a restructuring: they start their journey while you reach a level that hopefully [more] happy and calm, but brings many charged feelings.

It’s the perfect setup for something you write later in the book: “If men stop noticing you, that’s a pretty good indication of how the world in general is going to treat you.”

For me, I think anyone who has a daughter can particularly identify with, Oh my God, that’s not me anymore. What is my value now?

You talk about learning how to use invisibility to your advantage: letting people underestimate you and then capitalizing on it.

If you don’t get mad at it and find a way to utilize it, it’s a tool. It’s funny, my girls are all righteous when it comes to these things: “How can you say that, Mom?” I’ll say, ‘My ego has no problem playing this game. I weaken my opponent by thinking I am incapable.” I found it a source of obvious strength and power.

I always apologized or started with, “I’m probably wrong, but…” or, “Do you think that’s possible…?” I don’t have to come in weak anymore. And then I don’t have to end it with: “But you know better.”

How have you learned to navigate these conversations?

You can delay it and be respectful. I often say, “This is your field, and I don’t pretend to know a percentage of what you do, but in my opinion…” Then I’m on a more equal footing, and I don’t feel like I have to diminish myself. to express something, while I think before I was afraid to have an opinion.

So many women feel more comfortable and confident in their forties and fifties. Why is there this idea that middle-aged women are completely miserable?

Because they’ve told us we’re miserable. And so when you even look at the nature of commercials, you always think, “Do you have dry skin? Is this you? Womp-womp.” That’s what the story is, and the beauty company, pharmaceutical or whatever it is, they’ll come in and solve all your problems for you. Because if you’re happy, what if you don’t need their dry skin cream? So it’s this whole conspiracy that we’ve been fed with.

That’s exactly right.

Yes, [aging] also has disadvantages, but [we’re] no longer chasing anything: having to have babies at this age, having to get married, having to finish college. There are so many decades where we are just trying to get to the next stage. And then a shift takes place.

Once the pressure is off, you notice that older women are better at being themselves: “We can push boundaries when we travel through the world without the watchful eyes of, well, everyone.”

That doesn’t mean I’m less ambitious. I’m probably more ambitious because I think I deserve it more. I still get scared. I’m still nervous, I’m not good enough. I still have to force myself to persevere, [but] we become inescapable. We’re pretty formidable, and I think that’s a little scary for everyone.

Related: Brooke Shields explains why she ‘fought’ her daughter’s modeling career

Taking care of her children. Brooke Shields opened up about her initial reaction to her 17-year-old daughter Grier’s interest in modeling. “The rules have changed since I was [a model]. I fought it for so long. It’s such a different industry now than it used to be,” Shields, 58, explained during an appearance on Live With Kelly and […]

It takes a different kind of strength to give yourself the grace to say no. For example, you turned down an invitation to perform alongside Broadway powerhouse Cynthia Erivo and Susan Boyle of Britain has talent. How do you decide when to say no to what seems – to everyone at least – a golden opportunity?

There is a sense of healthy humility, [of] why would you want to do that to yourself? That’s not true, I’m ‘less than’ as a person, but there’s no way my abilities reach theirs. I always thought that if I was good enough, I would go and at least hold my own, and that would be an achievement in itself. But you have to say, “I don’t want that feeling in the pit of my stomach that I would undoubtedly feel.”

You first devote a chapter to becoming an empty nester, after which both your daughters left for Wake Forest University in North Carolina. “My girls have many skills that I never had,” you write. Have you worked on steering them away from habits you don’t like, like people-pleasing?

I have one that is a lot of people pleaser, and I have a younger one that is about right and wrong, and it doesn’t matter what people think. She is very strong in her opinions. Even her reactions – I’ll say, “Aren’t you ashamed?” And she says, ‘No. No, I’m not.” And she’s 18, maybe she feels different. My eldest really suffers from that, and I don’t know if it’s age or birth [order]whatever – we are most similar, in our approach to life and our actions.

I’m so proud that I’ve created space for them to speak up, express their feelings, and not worry about being judged. And being okay if I disagree with them. They just have different ways of expressing it to me.

One thing that is so specific to you is how much of your life is documented. What’s it like to look back and see the girl you once were under such scrutiny?

I have so much empathy. My heart just swells for her and her desperate, desperate need to protect her mother and take care of everything. It felt like this was just what I was going to do.

And today?

I see myself now [at Commence HQ]and I have never aspired to be in a position like this. I think about the Zoom I had with one of our investors this morning, and how clear I was about that; and how I was in therapy an hour earlier; and how I navigate my children; and how to help my husband through anything; and you just see all these different spokes of a woman’s wheel, you know? There is pride, because I don’t pretend… if someone doesn’t like me anymore. I mean, yeah, you get the idea, but I sit back and think, I don’t even know if I respect you, so why should I worry so much about you liking me?